Saturday, May 21, 2011

Day 167

My Gmail inbox is an avalanche of comments I need to respond to...

I apologize.

But I do want to say I have felt blessed by all the support I have received from you guys! Thank you! I'm still not sure where I'm going in life, but I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm not such a screw-up.

Something else that has been on my mind lately is the subject of privacy. If you haven't noticed, I use my name on my blog and twitter. I am personally of the opinion that I want to be found, known for my work and opinions, and completely honest. I am not ashamed of who I am or what I believe, so why would I hide behind monikers?

Also, when I do become an "official writer," I will need to be searchable. So why not start now?

My girlfriend is of a very, very, very different opinion.

First, she asked me not to talk about certain things, because they were very personal subjects.

Ok, cool. Done.

Then, she asked, when Don't Ask Don't Tell is dropped, could I not post any pictures of her?

Sigh. Fine, ok, whatever. I've gone this long, right?

Finallly, she said she had to stop reading my blog, because reading about herself and knowing strangers were reading it too makes her very uncomfortable.

Oh, boy. What do I do now?

I don't mean so much in just this blog. She does realize that this is my outlet, and she doesn't want me to censor myself anymore than DADT already requires.

But this won't be my only blog. This isn't my only social medium. How do I conduct myself online when I have to hide who I'm with?

Over time, I'm sure more and more people who know us in real life will also find my online sites. How do I protect Zee's privacy then?

Or at some point does Zee have to realize that the line between who you are online and who you are offline is becoming more and more blurred?

I don't know. I'm feeling very confused about the whole issue. And I don't have just Zee to think of - there's also my family. In living my life unanonymously, how do the little tidbits of information I let out affect their lives also?

I guess, after this blog is done, I won't be able to do personal blogging like this. I'll have to stick with strictly informative blogs. Maybe cooking or book reviews. Almost like a TV show, where the host can become famous without information of spouse or family being released.


How... typical.

But seriously, Zee's a little ridiculous. She's thinking about closing her Facebook account AND she is kinda not happy about a little slideshow a fellow soldier posted on YouTube the other day. There were only about four or five pictures of her in there, but apparently that is enough to compromise her online anonymity.

As much as I think she's over-the-top with this, I love her and I even love this quirkiness. I will do my best to accommodate both of us.


  1. I understand both sides. I fluctuate between wanting to be totally anonymous in the world and 'fuck it, this is who I am, deal!'

    Perhaps you could have a public blog and keep a private more anonymous blog when you're done?

  2. Zee has got a ton more to loose than you do, girl. You've really got to think of it coming from the Army side of things. PERSEC is very important... And I don't know if anyone has ever showed you OPSEC either... They are both very super important. I hope that Zee is not deployed... because counting down to her arrival back home if she is deployed is a big no no. :/

    I think that Zee should also think about things coming from your side. It is reasonable not to want her picture out there while Don't Ask Don't Tell is still in effect and men and women are still getting in trouble/kicked out for it.

  3. My husband feels the same way that Zee does. I don't talk about him much in my blog or online at all, almost in the sense that he doesnt exist. I think that holds me back from truly talking about what life with a soldier is like, and very much edits my writing. There are many times that I want to hop on and pour my heart out via blog, but I don't because I dont want to invade his privacy or put our business on blast. Argh. I do see where Zee is coming from, I see where you are coming from as well thus why 365 is the theme of your blog. I think you guys can find a balance that suits you both.


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