I'll try and keep it from being too long-winded...
First, I nearly overslept. Not in the "I'm going to be late" kind of way, but in the "I haven't given myself as much time as I planned because I was so sleepy and if I lolly-gag I could be late" way.
Second, I was hired! I will be working at this trendy little place in downtown Nashville, and I look forward to working hard and making le monai.
Here's where the real story starts...
I decided to head to a local shopping center to buy new shoes for my job and some celebration beer.
I never got there.
Half-way home, I see smoke coming from my vents.
To say my car was "overheating" would be to put it too calmly.
My car was OHMYLANTAHAWT!
I pull over, pop the hood, and I see that coolant has exploded all over my engine. I send pictures to a friend who says it looks like my radiator has split.
Great... Doesn't the Universe know I just got hired and don't want to miss my first day of work?
My friend and I decide I should walk to the nearest gas station (I was literally 500 feet from the exit) to get some water to test his radiator theory. I mean, there was every chance I could drive the car somewhere, right?
I also wanted to go to a gas station because I had not eaten or drank a single molecule all day. Remember how I overslept? Yeah, I don't eat when I have other shit to do.
So I'm starving and trudging my way along the interstate to find food and a whole lot of water.
I would like to remark at this juncture that several people (mostly men...) stopped to offer me a ride. I declined all of them - because you never know who the creepers are - but I was profoundly touched by the goodness of mankind.
The goodness of the Universe has yet to be proven.
I walked half a mile (or a mile? I can't really gauge distance) and still couldn't find a gas station. And to make everything a whole lot better, my phone battery was dying.
A phone call from Zee finally convinced me to turn around and call for a tow truck.
Calling for a tow truck was so much fun.
I've never called my roadside assistance before, but I don't think the jerk who handled my phone call is the norm.
I won't go into details, but, when you're making a phone call with cars zooming by, it can be difficult to hear. But that is no reason to get frustrated with me if I'm obviously having a bad day.
At one point, I was trying to tell him the exit my car was by, and he kept telling me the only road of that name was south of Nashville. Finally, I had to say, "Well I don't have a map. But I'm at this exit and this is what it's called."
Back at my car, I wait for the tow truck.
I wait for an hour.
While I'm waiting, my car is recognized by a gentleman who lives at my apartments. He stopped to offer help, but, again I declined, this time because there was literally nothing to do but wait.
And wait, I did. Thirsty, hot, and starving.
Literally drenched with sweat, watching the clouds, praying that it would rain.
Finally, my battery is beeping at me, and I figure I should call the tow people before my phone is post mortem.
Turns out dickweed from customer service hell got my location and phone number wrong. They had been circling my location for the past 30 minutes, unable to get in touch with me, like deaf and blind vultures.
From here the story got better, with A/C, water, and auto-repairness.
I will be able to take my mom's car to work tomorrow - so yay.
But it was my radiator that, like, exploded, so I'll have a bill of $598 + tax to pay tomorrow.
Thank you, Universe, for this headache of a day. Ignore my sarcasm and please give me a better day tomorrow. Yours truly, Kindle the Grand