Ok, maybe not that horrible...
Still, it was atrocious. I couldn't see that I was pretty girl. I couldn't see me. All I could see were the break-outs and rashes on my face.
In fact, I still have nightmares on occasion about having acne again.
Worst of all, nothing worked. There was no wash, no astringent, no dermatologist that could fight my acne. Proactive was Proworthless.
Then on one of my routine dermatologist visits (cuz you know I still went and had my face brutally poked every few months), Mr. Doctor Man says, "Hey, we have this new medicine called Accutane..."
Have you heard of Accutane? They have commercials about it on TV now, telling you to contact a lawyer if you ever took it.
Because at best it would make your baby ridiculously retarded.
Oh, and it can kill your liver too. So about seven years after the drug's debut, people are complaining.
I took Accutane, and damn that shit worked. I felt clear skin on my face in two weeks, and I nearly cried. On a list of moments that changed my life, that would definitely be in the top five.
Call me superficial. I don't care.
Anyhow, there was just oooone minor side-effect.
You know, besides not really being allowed to get pregnant for seven years. I don't care about that one.
No, the side effect I care about is the dry skin. That is pretty much how Accutane works. It literally sucks all the moisture and oil out of you. Not just your face. Every inch of your skin is painfully dry.
And this is something that I've lived with ever since my six-month prescription ended about seven years ago.
I've tried lotion after body butter after aloe after oatmeal bath after your mom.
But I think I might have finally found a solution!
I remember that when my Accutane was at its worst, I would take to rubbing olive oil on my skin for relief. I figured that Italians have great skin because it's all they eat (does that assumption make me a stereotypist or a racist?), so it should work for me right?
Well, instead of lathering up, I simply drew a hot bath and poured half a cup or so of olive oil into the bath.
You feel a little gross at first, but ooooh it feels good afterwards to actually have soft, moisturized, and non-painful skin.