48 Weeks to Go
Ok, it has officially been a month. Where am I at emotionally?
After a month, things are beginning to level out around normal. I think that my life will be hectic and "unnormal" because of the holidays, but adjusting back to life without Zee... Well, it's getting there.
Now that the majority of the can't-focus hurting is behind me, I'm worried about other things.
For instance, intimacy is very important in maintaining a healthy relationship. How can you keep that aspect of a relationship alive when you're literally on opposite sides of the world? All the letters in the world won't change the awkwardness of seeing the person you love for the first time in six months. (5 months away...!) Is there any way to help that? Or will we find ourselves in a hotel room thinking, "Sooo... What do I do now?"
Couldn't we just text or something?
See the end of this post for extra awkward.
I also worry about how much can I demand from Zee. Her days seem to be pretty filled with work, exercise, and a healthy social life. Oh, and it's filled with a war zone. We mustn't forget that, right? So what's a reasonable amount of attention to demand? She already writes me every day (which is the highlight of my day), and then there are other occasional emails, and then a phone call once or twice a week. I shouldn't be greedy!
But then I'm in the break room at work, and all the girls in there are calling their boyfriends, husbands, significant others, and I get jealous. I want to call and check-in for no other reason than "just cause." I want to get off work everyday happy because I know I'm going home to the girl I love more than anyone else. I want her every day and all the time. And I had that, so going down to these few points of contact... It's rough.
And what's the worst is that I feel like a complete sappy crybaby.
Which I am not.
I figure this is what it's like for most everybody.
Day 20: Your Views on Drugs and Alcohol
Well, I think we've already established that I'm a bit of a slushie. Wine and beer can be my best friends. ...I think Heather's the wine and Spargo's the beer.
And as long as I don't start turning to alcohol habitually as a way to solve my problems, I think I'm okay.
As for drugs, I'm against them. The only thing I'm okay with is marijuana. Even though I don't prefer it myself, I view it almost as other alcohol. As long as you're of age, I'm not going to judge you.
All other drugs, however, are stooooopid. I don't see the point of so seriously messing with my body. I find the risk to be too great.