Thursday, November 4, 2010

Day 365

I think I'm in shock.

Last night was tears and drinking and distractions and desperate last-minute phone calls.

Today is the quiet aftermath of a storm. A steady acceptance of the year to come.

Actually, scratch that last one. I'm not sure if I've accepted it yet. We'll check back with that one after I haven't seen her for a week and it really begins to set in that I won't be seeing her for 51 more weeks.

That's how I'm going to be living. 52 weeks. 12 months. 365 days. 12 sets of bills. And, amusing, 12 periods. Haha.

I'm sad about the holidays I'll be missing with her. But I'm also looking forward to starting over next year with her - truly celebrating our "first" holiday season.

I'm sad that even though we'll be talking all the time, I will be so disconnected from her for this year. The girl I love and now know I don't ever want to live without.

I'm not a wife - not yet at least. I am a girlfriend. I am hers and she is mine.

And this is our first military deployment.

Sshh - don't tell anyone.

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