Monday, November 8, 2010

Day 361

I have no right to complain. But I want to anyways. I want to stamp my feet and cry, "No Fair!" But I don't want to be so immature. I don't want Zee to see me as an over-emotional pathetic excuse of a girlfriend. But I want her to know how upset I am with her gone and to make it all better.

It's worse when I'm tired.

Awake, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed - I am good to go! Not a care in the world; this year will fly by. My mom says how well I'm taking everything.

Late nights and sleepy mornings, though, I have to struggle to not focus on her absence.

The worst part? IT'S ONLY BEEN FOUR DAYS.


Makes me want to press my face into a pillow, pull the blankets over my head, and sleep, sleep, sleep.

See? Tired.

The passing of time feels like it will be a fine line of a lessening of the pain and trying to hold onto the pain. Hating it but needing it. Wanting it and pushing it away.

Today's goal: Working on Zee's birthday package - my first military mail thing! And sleep. Oh, sleep. Beautiful, precious sleep...

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