Saturday, February 19, 2011

Day 258

Day 258 has been good to me.

I danced to Yeah Yeah Yeah's "Gold Lion" while fixing my hair.

My mom, sister, and I went and ate at Korea House. Delicious, but not the place I think I want to take Zee when she comes in for her leave. It was more "diner" and less "romantic."

I wore my cute corduroy half-jacket. Spring (which has come early!) is pretty much the only time I get to wear it.

I went shopping at the K&S World Market to buy stuff for a Care Package, to be sent to one of Zee's good friends in Iraq. And I might have gotten some things for myself... And perhaps some things for Zee....

We went and saw True Grit at the theatre. Hannah and I gave it a solid 8/10.

Sooo, good day, yeah?

This blog has been kicking my butt lately.

Or rather, my laziness has been kicking my butt lately.

There are a lot of things I could talk about. There are a lot of things I could vent about.

But right now I just feel tired and lost.

It's better when the sun is out and I can see summer peaking its head around the corner. I respond to heat of the season.

I'm tired because I see my life - at this moment - in a numbingly relentless two week cycle without end. I try to find purpose in my days, but each day I wonder, "What am I doing with my life?" I live for the weekend, knowing full well that soon I'll be back in the salon, counting down the hours until I get to go home.

I'm lost because I can feel this separation from Zee taking its toll on me. I know it's a phase; I know we'll be fine. But she is my beacon, far off in the horizon, and I can feel the distance between us. Some days are good, and the distance doesn't seem so painful. But then other days are horrible, and I wonder how we can ever bridge the gap.

Still, I know we will. I'm resolute. I'm stubborn.I'm determined.

We have something so good and so perfect, I know we'll be fine. But that doesn't make it less difficult.

Sigh... and I had promised myself that I would be upbeat today...

Maybe this will help.


  1. *hugs* it's okay to have those off days....we need time to rejuvenate sometimes! I see it as a video know how when you're playing a game like Zelda or Mario and you're low on hearts and mushrooms? I see those rejuvenating days as days when I need more hearts in the container or I just need another mushroom to make me bigger and stronger :P Cheesy, I know but thats how I've come to see it :P

  2. It sucks, I know. Hang in there girl!

    I picked you for an award again lol.

    Because you're awesomeeee <3


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