Day 249

Care Packaging Has Stripped Me Of All My Blogging Abilities.

But I Can Find The Strength To Say...

..9 MONTHS TO GO!

(approximately)

ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST!

Day 250

One:

250 Days left. Well, really, 249 once I go to sleep. Finally feels like maybe the days are moving. Maybe soon enough she'll be home. Yay!

Two:

As of Today, Kitties are no longer allowed in my room. This makes me sad, but it must be done. Zee is kinda allergic to deh kitteh, and, if I'm to be cat-hair free by the time her mid-leave comes, I'd better start now.

Bai-Bai, Kittehs. :(

Three:

I've heard this song before.
I've seen this artist mentioned before, by Beckie, I believe.
But I was blog-hopping briefly and came across the music video for the song on The Few, The Proud, The Wife.
The Video Gave Me Chills.
Well Done.
Well.
Done.

Day 251

After a certain amount of days without any contact, do you start to feel as though it was all some wonderful dream and you're afraid to wake up?

Day 252

 

That’s right, folks! My birthday is exactly four weeks away!

Back when I worked at Salon Visage in Knoxville, TN, we had this little dry erase board at the front desk we would use to leave important notes for the day.

It usually ended up being a place where salon coordinators would doodle. This particular creation was drawn exactly one year ago by Mickayla, who is not only a former co-worker but also my RA in my first year of college.

She is awesome.

Day 253

Nashville is paranoid. Trembling on the edge of the couch, fretfully looking out the window every five minutes paranoid.

Ever since that big ole nasty flood last May, Nashville gets downright skittish around rain.

So, right now, we have some rain going on. It's been raining off and on since this morning. It's mostly in Kentucky, though.

Poor Kentucky.

I’m not worried, however. I love the rain, I love the sound, I love the lightening, I love the thunder.

I even love how the power flickers as I type into my laptop, content in the knowledge that the battery is fully charged.

So the rest of Nashville can bite their nails off with worry, cancel all their plans, buy out the stores, and issue a million unnecessary flood warnings and tornado watches.

I’m going to be paranoid about other things.

Like facial hair.

Not in general. Just one disturbing tale my sister told me the other day.

Now, I have only three hairs I worry about:

One on my chinny-chin-chin.

One on my cheek, oddly enough.

And one persistent little nose hair that likes to stick out further than my nose knows how to handle.

The other day, my sister walked into the bathroom, discovering me at my beauty work. I tweezed out that horrible little nose hair, and Hannah cringed.

“Please promise me you’ll never do that again,” she said.

“Uh… why?” I asked.

Hannah proceeded to tell me a horrifying story where tweezing nose hairs can lead to follicle infections that can SPREAD TO YOUR BRAIN.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Why has this not been talked about before??

I did some googling (or in my case nowadays, Swagbucking), and sure enough, there are a couple forums and websites that say, Yes, tweezing nose hairs can lead to infection!

“Tweezing your ear hair is a good alternative but don't tweeze your nose hair. There is a high occurence of infection associated with plucking nose hairs. There is a lot of bacteria in your nasal passage.”

Pubicshavingadvice.com

 

“Do not tweeze nose hairs, as this can cause infection.”

Livestrong.com

 

Ok, so maybe neither are the most reliable sources, but still! I’ve found more than a few places saying that this is not a good thing.

 

I think I may still continue tweezing. …I don’t know.

Worth the risk?

 

Two Random Things:

1) I just got some more swagbucks for searching the links to post in here about tweezing nose hairs, bringing me to 455 total! Time to get another $5 gift card! If you want to join the fun, please click the little banners I have on either side of my blog!

2) This picture makes me laugh.

Day 254

HAPPY 9 MONTHS, ZEE!

**ahem**

Ok, so The Lady got on to me for not participating in All Dressed Up like good little bloggers should.

But I have good reason!

See, the premise of All Dressed Up -as I understood it- is to give women a chance and a reason to focus on their personal style and fashion. It's a chance to break away from the comfy hoodies and sweatpants!

But I rarely get to wear the comfy hoodies and sweatpants.

The nature of my job - at a Frou-Frou Ji-Ji Salon - requires me to get dressed up

every single day.

Ugh. It's stressful.

I'm a cute dresser at all times, but having to go that extra mile all the time?

Sucks.

So I just figured that perhaps I don't qualify for All Dressed Up.

But when I got The Lady's semi-challenge, I couldn't refuse.

I hopped out of bed, woke my mom up, and insisted she take my picture.

She did an... ok job.

So, without further ado, here is what I wore to work today.

Blurry. I blame my lack of desire to hit the grind-mill called "job."

Pictured: Slept-on hair and stubbly legs.

I have to rebel against my work somehow.

The cardigan makes it work-appropriate!

And I tried to get mom to include my shoes, but this was the best we got.

Maybe next time.

I decided to add a headband to my look! Scandalous!

Final look, sans face. Only the bleary, red eye of the Droid staring you down.

Cardigan, Dress, Belt - Maurices, $60

Headband - Redken, freeeee

Necklace - Tiffany's, cuz my boo loves me. :)

And, Lady? I'll try and do better next time to really make you proud.

Spontaneous decisions look bad on me.

Day 255

Ok, first, exciting news --

I GOT A RAISE!

Ok, it's not a CRAZY huge deal, or anything. But it literally came out of nowhere, with no explanation, and for no real reason.

Therefore

I got a raise for being

AWESOME.

Do you know who else is AWESOME?

Beckie.

You probably know her from Turn For The Nurse.

She is a radically cool girl who I love to follow

and she apparently loves to give me awards.

I'm not complaining.

Beckie gets two thumbs up

for being an incredible, honest, optimistic blogger

with fantastic writing.

Now I have to pick five people to pass it on to.

1. Beckie!, Turn For the Nurse - How could I NOT?! It a matter of minutes, she's become a force in the Milspousey Community. She truly is a beautiful writer and a passionate person.

2. Annoyed Army Wife, The Annoyed Army Wife - She's basically on everybody's list, and it's for a reason. She doesn't pretend to be anything she's not. And she is exactly as advertised - an annoyed army wife.

3. Jessica, Lowe Family News - I enjoy her stuff since she's uber funny, and she's legit. Need I say more?

4. The Lady, No Model Lady - Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class, Class

And Last Only on the List, but Certainly Not In My Life

5. Heather, Altogether Heather - because she has written some truly poignant blogs on all aspects of military life, and because she stands up so strongly for what she believes in. And also because I love her. Love Love Love!

Ok. Done!

...I'll let them know how awarding I was tomorrow.

Finally! I shall participate in....

I'm pretty excited, so let's go!

Oh, yeah, and link up and stuff...

So, this is a very fun part of my job at the salon.

I flip through the fashion magazine and censor all the naughty bits.

If you don't know Nancy Kwan, you SHOULD.

This is a photo I took as I was watching Flower Drum Song last night, so I could show Zee what she was missing out on by not liking "old movies." ;) tee-hee

This is the dress I was wearing on the day Zee first emailed me.

I tend to get a lot of compliments when I wear it.

The view from my apartments.

No biggie.

Zee got feisty and put this on her Amazon Wish List. Oooooh, yeah. You're reading the word "Lesbian" all right. Haha. Most of them are lame "Tell your partner how much you love them" bullshit, but a few are decent... ;)

Aaaaaaaaaand DONE! Have a FABULOUS Day/Night!

Day 256

I am basically an amazing girlfriend. Not only did I wake up early on my day off to model the lingerie I got for Valentine's (Thank you, Skype. Thank you, Zee.), but I also put together a package for one of Zee's best friends, who is also in the Army.

I'd been meaning to send a package as a way to introduce myself, but, when Zee expressed a desire to send her something, it was the extra motivation I needed to hop-to!

And since first impressions are everything, I put a little extra effort into my decorating. I'm not very crafty... Or imaginative in that way... But it's the effort that counts, right? :-/

My amazing block letters...

And my incredible construction paper skills...

It was sometimes frustrating and disheartening, and I did glue my fingers together on several occasions. And the experience ended with me going to the Post Office today, only to find it closed!

Damn President's Day.

But this little girl kept me company the entire time!

Look at that smile! :D

Playful Margo

Sleepy Margo

Cuddly Margo

In other news, I've been madly in love with Swagbucks. It's a search engine that randomly rewards your internet searches with points, as well as awarding points for participating in polls, filling out surveys, and "watching" videos.

After you gather up enough points, you can redeem these points for a variety of prizes. The goal of my points is a $5 Amazon Gift Card, worth 450 points. I've already earned one $5 Amazon Gift card, and in the past 12 days, I've already won 332 points!

You can also earn points by referring people, so here I am! Referring! I told myself I would find a way to earn some extra money this year, and this is a step in that direction.

If you click the banner above and sign up, you automatically get 30 points (also called Swagbucks), and, for their birthday celebration this week, they're offering extra points when you enter the code below:

"If a referral enters the code BirthdayFun while signing up they'll get an extra 25 SB to go with the 30 they already start with. This code is ONLY good for people who haven't joined yet - existing members won't be able to use it."

Day 257

I agree - I've been needing to recharge. I need to quit stressing and just enjoy life, and not worry about how well I'm doing on my goals. I am pursuing them, and that should be enough - even if I'm not making as much progress as I'd hoped.

In other news, I have added a link to my Lesbian of Love posts! Look to the right of this page, under my Tweeetah Feed. Who knows, maybe I'll continue to receive questions! But for now, you have a quick click to the answers of all your burning questions about lezbians. Rejoice!

But today I want to talk about something special.

Mine and Zee's Nine Months together is fast approaching.

I know, I know - Nine Months. Big deal, right?

Still, it has me thinking, because 9 is just a few numbers away from 12.

So today I want to talk about how Zee and I met.

In "MilSpouse World" I suppose it's typical to call it "Our Story."

We met....

(get ready)

....on Craigslist.

Oh yeah. We are mind-blowingly classy like that.

Once upon a time, Kindle had just moved to Nashville. It was a brash move, made out of a desperation to get away from a city she'd spent far too much time in. She arrived the day before the Middle Tennessee Floods of 2010, and there were no jobs in sight.

Being mindful of not wasting too much gas, she browsed for job postings on craigslist every single day, every few hours, clicking every potential advertisement. In between these searches, she would browse through the personals.

Because they're so damn funny.

Seriously, personal ads will lift your mood no matter what. And a good mood is what poor, jobless, bored Kindle was needing.

After days of Craiglisting, an idea began to form in Kindle's mind.

More of a joke, really.

What if she wrote the most honest and rude Craigslist personal ever? What if she put together a post that listed her faults and made strong demands of others? Because usually a personal is when the seeker glosses over their personality and asks only for love. What sort of response would an opposite sort of post receive?

Kindle consulted with her friend, Spargo, and the post was born.

You - chill. Me - magic. - 23

Date: 2010-05-20, 12:40AM CDT

Reply To This Post

Me --

Looking for significance. Not love. Love would be great, but is unrealistic.

Narcissistic - truly, madly, deeply.

Judgmental - I laugh at people. A lot. Probably my favorite thing to do. I laugh at craigslist personals. I laugh at people on the street and how they dress. I laugh at laughs, snorts, attitudes, stupidity, and drunks.

Geeky - own a small library + star wars + star trek + cartoons + fantasy + pirates + "insert fandom here"

I also laugh at geeks.

Intelligent - I'm no genius, but, damn, if you're stupid, I can't deal.

Oxymoron - everything I am, I could also claim the exact opposite. It's for you to figure out.

You --

Soft butch.

Assertive.

Accomplished - or at least going somewhere.

No dogs. If you have a dog, it'd better be a gift from God that I am spiritually obligated to endure.

Fit. By fit, I mean you take care of yourself. By take care of yourself, I mean when you start to put on a pound, you go for a run, because you actually want to live a long, healthy life. And because you enjoy being attractive.

Cultural. You enjoy new things, new places, new adventures.

I want a picture, because compatibility without attraction is just a friendship. Put MAGIC in the subject line of your email if you're interested.

Now somewhere out in this vast universe

(*ahem* Clarksville)

Zee was suffering from a similar form of boredom. Her main group of friends had deployed ahead of her, and she found herself wondering what she should do.

For some reason, craigslist was the solution.

In retrospect, this honestly surprises Kindle. She has yet to witness Zee visiting craiglist, for any sort of purpose. Why this one time she would browse craiglist is beyond understanding.

Call it Fate.

Zee happened upon Kindle's post, and, of course, was instantly blown away by this gorgeous, saucy vixen who was openly bitchy and arrogant.

She most likely thought something along the lines of, "Damn, I'm in love."

She wasted no time in sending a response.

Subject: MAGIC

On Fri, May 21, 2010 at 7:07 PM, Zee wrote:

Me--

Chill-- check.

Soft butch-- in personality if not in looks

Assertive.- check.

Going somewhere in life-- check.

No dog-- check.

Fit-- check.

Cultural-- check.

Most of the descriptions you used for yourself could most probably describe me.

Hopeless romantic, but pessimistic.

Narcissistic- maybe not so blatantly

Judgmental- again, maybe not so blatantly

Geeky- I am a geek (fantasy, wow, xena), but I don't associate with geeks

Intelligent- I can't stand stupid people

Oxymoron- in many, many ways.

-Zee

It was simple, to the point, and she followed the specifications Kindle had laid out in her post! (The Army is good for training people to follow orders...)

And the picture she sent was a teaser, but alluring.

Kindle immediately replied.

Zee was the only response she replied to.

They emailed the rest of the evening and late into the night, ending with Zee giving Kindle her number...

The next day was full of texting, ending with promise for a date on the very next day...

So there was Sunday, May 23, in downtown Nashville. Only two days after hearing that Zee existed in the world, Kindle was heading out on a date with her. Family and friends were aware, just in case Zee ended up being a creeper.

In fact, Kindle almost didn't go to the date. She had anxiously torn through sixteen different outfits, applied her make-up with the utmost care, and driven 30 minutes into the heart of Nashville, and almost chickened out.

After all, this was crazy.

Meeting with someone you found on craigslist? Only white trash and hornballs do that.

Right?

But Kindle's honesty won out. She had said she would meet this Zee on Sunday evening, and she planned to keep that promise.

She walked to the meeting point and sat on a bench, chatting on the phone with a friend. She was trying to keep her nerves down, keeping an eye out for anyone who matched Zee's picture, while trying to look cool, calm, casual, and utterly unflappable.

And there she was. Unmistakeable. Long black hair, a shy smile, and a purposeful stride.

The evening was spent in a typical way. Restaurant and then a few drinks afterwards. They talked for hours, walking the streets and hopping into bars. Knowing that Zee had to be up early for work, Kindle headed them back to their cars, but as they neared the parking lot, Zee stopped.

"You said you go in late tomorrow, right?" she asked.

"That's right."

Zee grabbed Kindle's hand and turned them back towards the city.

"Then I want to hear more of your stories," she replied.

Kindle's heart pounded.

They ended up in a hookah bar, and they talked for an hour or so more. Topics covered everything, even the type of families they wanted to have in the future.

Now, Kindle is not a smoker. She has done hookah, but only ever in a large group. She's never had the opportunity to inhale so much at once.

She started feeling sick.

Kindle and Zee made it back to their cars, and were sharing the idle chatter of an ending night. This is usually where first kisses are exchanged and arrangements for the next date are made. But if you could have peaked into Kindle's mind at this moment, you would have heard,

"Oh god, I hope she doesn't try to kiss me. Please don't try and kiss me. I am going to puke. I don't want to puke in your mouth. Oh god, please don't try to kiss me."

Oh, yes, fighting back stomach spasms and bile in her throat, Kindle magnificently held her green gills in their place and managed a normal (although kiss-free) ending to a wonderful date.

And on the drive home, she spoke with her friend Spargo, who had helped orchestrate this entire affair.

"So, what do you think?" he asked.

"I'm not sure," Kindle said. "But I definitely will be seeing her again."

Day 258

Day 258 has been good to me.

I danced to Yeah Yeah Yeah's "Gold Lion" while fixing my hair.

My mom, sister, and I went and ate at Korea House. Delicious, but not the place I think I want to take Zee when she comes in for her leave. It was more "diner" and less "romantic."

I wore my cute corduroy half-jacket. Spring (which has come early!) is pretty much the only time I get to wear it.

I went shopping at the K&S World Market to buy stuff for a Care Package, to be sent to one of Zee's good friends in Iraq. And I might have gotten some things for myself... And perhaps some things for Zee....

We went and saw True Grit at the theatre. Hannah and I gave it a solid 8/10.

Sooo, good day, yeah?

This blog has been kicking my butt lately.

Or rather, my laziness has been kicking my butt lately.

There are a lot of things I could talk about. There are a lot of things I could vent about.

But right now I just feel tired and lost.

It's better when the sun is out and I can see summer peaking its head around the corner. I respond to heat of the season.

I'm tired because I see my life - at this moment - in a numbingly relentless two week cycle without end. I try to find purpose in my days, but each day I wonder, "What am I doing with my life?" I live for the weekend, knowing full well that soon I'll be back in the salon, counting down the hours until I get to go home.

I'm lost because I can feel this separation from Zee taking its toll on me. I know it's a phase; I know we'll be fine. But she is my beacon, far off in the horizon, and I can feel the distance between us. Some days are good, and the distance doesn't seem so painful. But then other days are horrible, and I wonder how we can ever bridge the gap.

Still, I know we will. I'm resolute. I'm stubborn.I'm determined.

We have something so good and so perfect, I know we'll be fine. But that doesn't make it less difficult.

Sigh... and I had promised myself that I would be upbeat today...

Maybe this will help.

Day 259

Days like today I need a roommate.

I need someone who can tell me that my social life is suffering and I should attend this party.

Or, alternatively...

I need someone who can tell me that going to a party where I barely know even the host would be extremely awkward and I'll be happier sitting at home with Star Trek.

As it is, I'll probably be stuck in between leaving and staying because I can't make a decision, thereby wasting an entire evening.

I feel unreasonably irritated that my Friday night is marred with such a difficult decision.

Do you ever feel like this?

Day 260

I like round numbers.

Toooooooooo-siiiiiiicksssss-teeeeeeeeee.

Even numbers make me happy.

Because you need balance in life.

To this end, I have four lucky numbers - two even numbers and two odd numbers.

12, 6, 3, 25

Zee FINALLY got her Valentine's Package. She called and woke me up this morning, so that I could watch her open it on Skype. :) Almost felt like Christmas.

In her gift, the Pièce de résistance was the calendar I ordered off of Vistaprint. It was beaaauuuuuuuuuuutiful! I kinda hate myself for not taking photos of it while it was in my possession.

I titled the calendar "I am the Sun, and the Moon is my Betrothed," which is a quote that Zee, understandably, didn't recognize.

She said, "I really like this title. Where did you get it?"

So I grabbed my journal off my bedside table, and read to her what I wrote just a couple months before I moved to Nashville.

I shared it with her when we first started dating, and, at that time, it occurred to me that the prose I had written before I'd ever met her was perfect for the two of us.

I am like the sun - brazen, fiery, openly passionate.

She is like the moon - subtle, constant, silently seductive.

It helps that I prefer the summer, the sun, the heat. And she has an affinity for the night and dark that's interestingly impressive.

As I lay in my bed, her face a million miles away now sitting so closely with me on my computer, I read this prose-y essay to her. I realized, at that time, the poem-thing also perfectly describes our separation - this year where, when I'm in the day, she's in the night.

I am the sun, and the moon is my betrothed.

She calls to me - a siren that reaches down past my vocal chords

into my gut

pulling forth some ethereal thing

and drawing it nearer to her.

I think it's called a song...

I forgive the invasion as she smiles

coyly from behind a cloud.

Her glow is like ice on my skin,

and I welcome it.

She ducks behind behind a screen, laughing

as clouds begin an intricate dance around her,

revealing glimpses of glorious flesh,

here and there...

I want only to be there with her -

warming her -

to produce

colors the world has only dreamed of.

I stand enraptured.

She blows me a kiss of what can never be

as she steps out from the clouds

to show her beautiful form -

wondrous in its nakedness.

Beyond compare.

Beyond reach.

With a final, tortuous adieu,

she falls asleep

under the blanket of the sky.

Leaving me with only

memories

of my betrothed,

my beloved,

my mesmerizing tease.

I burn for her.

Day 261

I think my random meme Wednesdays are going to be a good thing.

I mean, of all the days where you need help, hump day is it. It is the threshold of the weekend. If you can just make it through this day, you'll be ok.

And this week, I need all the help I can get. Work has been getting busier and busier, so I've been indulging excessively in what I'm going to pay an homage to today.

Star Trek

I've been watching it so much this week, that my mom has started giving me shit about it.

"You've spent no time with the family."

"You haven't done anything all week."

"You just come home and go straight to your room."

Hey! I'm a geek! Give me a break!

If I don't completely nerd out and marathon something once in a blue moon

my head will EXPLODE.

Day 262

Remember this beautiful wrist? Connected to a just as beautiful hand?

Well, it's currently enshrined in a cast.

Because Zee got into a fight with a knife and a box, and she was outnumbered.

She told me she had cut her hand, and, at first, I thought it was just a papercut.

But, no. She said it was deep. I told her to go have it looked at.

However, in her adorable macho way, she waited until the next day.

I got a call in the middle of the night. She had almost severed a tendon and might have to go to Germany for the surgery.

Wow! - Ok! - I'm awake!

(And I selfishly wondered if this meant she might get to come home. I mean, it's just a hand, but why not? Crazier things have happened.)

(I also had this thought because I've been having a million dreams about Zee coming home earlier than I expect her to.)

Some hours later I got another waking phone call, and she told me that they've found someone on base to do her surgery. And it was legit OR kind of surgery.

I have yet to call Zee a klutz.

It will surely come up at some point.

I've had my own ailments today. Nothing quite so dramatic.

More Mysterious, actually.

You can't really see it in the picture, but there's a cluster of red dots.

Red stingy dots.

They appeared out of nowhere, they won't go away, and I have no idea what caused them.

I also had to cut my workout short today because I could feel my shoes beginning to hurt my feet. I'm having bad shoe luck. One pair causes blisters on my toes, and the other pair causes blisters on my arch.

What is bizarre is that the blisters only ever happen on my left leg.

Only my left knee ever hurts.

But only my right hip gets super tight during the work-out.

I'm seriously starting to believe that my hips aren't even.

Or something!

And I can't think of any reason why my hips would be messed up.

I did jokingly wonder if maybe it's too much masturbation. But there's no way I'm giving that up with Zee still gone.

Do you hear that Zee? I need you to come home to take care of my sexual desires and, thereby, fix my hips!

But please come home both hands intact.

I need them.

And come home completely intact and healthy and whole.

I need you.

Looooooooove!

Day 263

Although an ocean separates us,

We will never be apart.

Day 264

I'm back and better than ever!

Yes, I do apologize for my disappearing act due to exhaustion yesterday.

But after a full night's sleep and almost four hours of

Sunday Skype Date

with Zee, I am feeling refreshed and ready to kick some question's ass.

With that said, let's not wait any longer for theeeee.....

Final Lesbian of Love!!!

(for now)

Still wish they were gay...

First Question of the Day:

Why do some lesbians want women who look and act like men? Why not just date men?

Well, you know how some men are straight but effeminate?

And you know how girls can fall in love with them?

Then you could ask them the same question:

"If you like an effeminate man, why not be with a woman?"

The true answer to that question is the fact that GENDER and SEXUALITY are two practically non-related things.

You can be very much a lesbian, and be very much feminine.

You can be very much a lesbian, and be androgynous.

You can be very much a lesbian, and be very masculine.

These same three states apply equally to all four sexualities:

heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual, asexual

What determines the physical body you are attracted to is fairly straightforward.

You like boobies, you like pecs, or you like both.

Or you like none.

But when it comes to which GENDER you like, I personally believe it gets a little more complicated than that.

It's my opinion that genders attract like the yin and yang. You want light with dark, hard with soft, feminine with masculine.

Feminine With Masculine.

Not Female with Male.

We get this male/female ideal because of an idea that is perpetuated in our society. Heck, it's been passed down through the centuries.

If you have a female body, you must be feminine.

If you have a female body, you must be attracted to men.

If you are masculine, you are attracted to girls.

If you have a male body, you must be masculine.

Now obviously, this is soooooooo not true, on any level.

But I do believe that if you identify yourself as feminine (regardless of your body), you are more innately attracted to a masculine personality. This is where true balance lies in relationships. Not in the male/female, plug-the-hole kind of way.

And with this in mind, you can mix and match gender and sexuality as much as you like.

Remember Betty from The Rugrats? Phil & Lil's Mom?

She's definitely a masculine, heterosexual female. To balance her, she needs a feminine, heterosexual male.

Enter Howard, Phil & Lil's Dad.

Polar gender identity + Identical Sexual Orientation + Appropriate Body = Compatibility.

More or less.

It even applies to me and Zee.

Similar sexual orientation, appropriate bodies for our orientation, and complementing gender identities allow us to have a fully compatible relationship.

this topic is something I've thought a lot about and have done some reading into. Because of my passion for the subject, I know if I go any longer, I'll inadverdently make this blog the most long-winded in history. So I'll stop here.

I'll pretend you're thanking me for sparing you.

Question Dos:

Can lesbians have sex on their periods?

No one that I can think of has ever actually asked me this question.

But I always know you're wondering it.

So I'll go ahead and answer it.

Yes.

It's simply a matter of mathematics.

You and your Lady Lover are not going to always sync up.

Each period lasts about a week.

Each month.

That's, at worse, two weeks out of the month where someone is on their period.

Can you go without sex for two weeks each month?

....

Ok, obviously we can and do. Stupid deployments.

But do you like going two weeks without sex??

So Lesbians still have sex.

Sometimes there are unspoken rules. Such as, no fingering because I have a stupid tampon shoved up my innermost parts.

But I've known some lesbians who were more than comfortable - once flow was light enough, I suppose - to go sans tampon and have sex as usual.

I personally have never ventured into that particular world of exploration, but, depending on how bad I was jonesing for some serious loving, I could see myself bending my own personal unspoken rules.

Also, I once had an entire call center weirded out with this one statement.

And it amused me then.

And it will still amuse me now.

Yes, we do still go down on each other, even when we're on our respective periods.

Gross out if you will, but I promise it's not blood and guts like you're imagining.

But if you're grossed out, then I've done my job and I'm very, very, very happy.

I'm immature like that.

I hope I have adequately answered your questions. :)

Day 265

If yesterday's post fell short of my usual standard, I apologize.

I apologize for today's as well.

In the past 48 hours, I have worked 24.

That's not counting the driving/eating/tidying/writing/exercising I've done.

I'm exhausted.

I just woke up from a three hour nap, think I would answer my next L.o.L. question.

But daaaaaamn...

I'm going back to bed.

I'll be back in the morning with extra-lesbian-ness posting.

Good night.



P.S. 100 Days Down. Yay.

Day 266

It's now Day Four of the Lesbian of Love Series!

Rejoice!!

If you have any questions, please direct your queries to

{{ kindle.rouse@gmail.com }}

The first time you were ever intimate with a girl were you intimidated or concerned that you wouldn't be able to "do things" right? And, along those same lines, have you always felt more comfortable with girls or was it equally awkward in your experimentation phase for both genders?

Hmmmm... What a good question! I've never been asked this before!

I was definitely intimidated by girls. I think the first time you approach the idea of sex, you are terrified in many ways.

Will you perform ok?

Will they like it?

Will you like it?

Already this is sounding like a great time.

Since it was my first time having sex, I definitely had no clue how anything worked - with myself, let alone with another girl. It actually took me almost a year to figure out how to orgasm!

But looking back on my first intimate experiences with a girl, I'm having trouble remembering specific instances where I felt awkward or hesitant. We took it in such gradual stages, I must have been able to adjust to each level of intimacy.

I do remember the first time I touched another girl's hoo-ha. I must have never paid attention to my own before, because I was so surprised at how it felt! It was very nice, but I had no idea what to do with myself. Or her, I guess. So there was definitely a learning period where I had to slowly figure out how all the girly bits and pieces worked.

"So, I move my hand like this?"

"Oh, over there?"

"...over here?"

"....Well where is it??"

I also remember the first time I went down on a girl. I was definitely hesitant about that.

I was very nervous.

I mean, a LOT of stuff goes on down there.

Going down that first time was a lot like getting my eyebrows waxed.

1. Apprehension and Fear.

2. Tense and Ready for Misery.

3. THE MOMENT

4. "Oh. That wasn't so bad."

5. Enjoying the effects.

6. "Think I might try that again..."

Yes. Brow waxing = Oral sexing. I can't believe you never made that connection before....

And then the next time I paid a visit to downtown, I swaggered into the joint full of bravado and a zeal to prove my awesomeness to the population of one.

And I haven't looked back since.

But I do experience a small degree of nervousness every time I've slept with a new girl.

When I sexed with a girl after nearly a year and a half of near celibacy, I literally had a mid-foreplay panic attack of "What if I have forgotten everything??"

Thoughts, like, "What if I've been having Lesbian Sex wrong all these years? What if there are Lesbian tricks she knows that I don't? Will I seem less gay to her? Will she like me less? Will she think I'm stupid and naive and aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!?"

I've had those thoughts every first time.

I think it's less stressful when you approach sex with a girl in a "I have no clue what I'm doing - Let's just have fun" way.

Once you claim you know what you're doing, you have to back it up, right?

Stressful!

But I've learned that sex is sex is sex is sex. There's no right or wrong in sex. There is only "Is It Cool With Your Partner" and "Is It Not Cool With Your Partner."

I've never been stopped in the middle of sexy bed time and asked,

"Um... what are you doing?"

"Uhhmm.... Ultimate frisbee?? Obviously..."

Guys are a similar but completely different story.

When I first touched a penis, I'll admit it - I laughed.

What a bizarre object!

But I wasn't afraid of it. Or the guy. I wasn't intimidated, per se.

(unless if they started talking about actually putting it in me - ick ick ick)

I was never freaked out. I was shy, maybe, but not completely awkward.

Maybe it's from all the porn I watch. Maybe it's because I honestly prefer girls.

But I didn't stress out, because I didn't care.

Boys are easy. Boys are Step 1, Step 2, Step 3 = gratification. I've never had a problem with holding their interest, sexually.

The problem was, could they hold mine?

Now that I think about it... Have I ever orgasmed with a guy?

....

Huh. I must have... Surely.... At some point, right?

Hmm. Anyways.

Girls are complicated. Girls are all different. Each girl has different zones, different speeds, different pressures, different rhythms - and it can seem very overwhelming!

And I like that. Girls are puzzle begging to be solved.

I know I'm not going to be perfect.

But I know I'm the perfect person to figure out my special somebody.

I will say

Gaaaaaaaaay People have an advantage over Straaaaaaaaaaight People.

I know what girls like, from the inside out.

Because I am a girl.

Dudes know what dudes like.

Because they're dudes.

Sure, it's still a little nerve-wracking the first time around with somebody

but I think that's just how sex works.

Regardless

To put an end to this question

(because I've had a looooooong and hoooooooooorrible day at work)

Even though I no longer need it (Thank you, ZEE!),

I find myself in this place of sexual comfort.

1) With Guys - I just don't care. Do it with my eyes closed. Whatever.

2) With Girls - I know what they like, because what I like is a good starting point. The rest is a fun adventure.

I hope I have adequately answered your question. :)