Day 266

It's now Day Four of the Lesbian of Love Series!

Rejoice!!

If you have any questions, please direct your queries to

{{ kindle.rouse@gmail.com }}

The first time you were ever intimate with a girl were you intimidated or concerned that you wouldn't be able to "do things" right? And, along those same lines, have you always felt more comfortable with girls or was it equally awkward in your experimentation phase for both genders?

Hmmmm... What a good question! I've never been asked this before!

I was definitely intimidated by girls. I think the first time you approach the idea of sex, you are terrified in many ways.

Will you perform ok?

Will they like it?

Will you like it?

Already this is sounding like a great time.

Since it was my first time having sex, I definitely had no clue how anything worked - with myself, let alone with another girl. It actually took me almost a year to figure out how to orgasm!

But looking back on my first intimate experiences with a girl, I'm having trouble remembering specific instances where I felt awkward or hesitant. We took it in such gradual stages, I must have been able to adjust to each level of intimacy.

I do remember the first time I touched another girl's hoo-ha. I must have never paid attention to my own before, because I was so surprised at how it felt! It was very nice, but I had no idea what to do with myself. Or her, I guess. So there was definitely a learning period where I had to slowly figure out how all the girly bits and pieces worked.

"So, I move my hand like this?"

"Oh, over there?"

"...over here?"

"....Well where is it??"

I also remember the first time I went down on a girl. I was definitely hesitant about that.

I was very nervous.

I mean, a LOT of stuff goes on down there.

Going down that first time was a lot like getting my eyebrows waxed.

1. Apprehension and Fear.

2. Tense and Ready for Misery.

3. THE MOMENT

4. "Oh. That wasn't so bad."

5. Enjoying the effects.

6. "Think I might try that again..."

Yes. Brow waxing = Oral sexing. I can't believe you never made that connection before....

And then the next time I paid a visit to downtown, I swaggered into the joint full of bravado and a zeal to prove my awesomeness to the population of one.

And I haven't looked back since.

But I do experience a small degree of nervousness every time I've slept with a new girl.

When I sexed with a girl after nearly a year and a half of near celibacy, I literally had a mid-foreplay panic attack of "What if I have forgotten everything??"

Thoughts, like, "What if I've been having Lesbian Sex wrong all these years? What if there are Lesbian tricks she knows that I don't? Will I seem less gay to her? Will she like me less? Will she think I'm stupid and naive and aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!?"

I've had those thoughts every first time.

I think it's less stressful when you approach sex with a girl in a "I have no clue what I'm doing - Let's just have fun" way.

Once you claim you know what you're doing, you have to back it up, right?

Stressful!

But I've learned that sex is sex is sex is sex. There's no right or wrong in sex. There is only "Is It Cool With Your Partner" and "Is It Not Cool With Your Partner."

I've never been stopped in the middle of sexy bed time and asked,

"Um... what are you doing?"

"Uhhmm.... Ultimate frisbee?? Obviously..."

Guys are a similar but completely different story.

When I first touched a penis, I'll admit it - I laughed.

What a bizarre object!

But I wasn't afraid of it. Or the guy. I wasn't intimidated, per se.

(unless if they started talking about actually putting it in me - ick ick ick)

I was never freaked out. I was shy, maybe, but not completely awkward.

Maybe it's from all the porn I watch. Maybe it's because I honestly prefer girls.

But I didn't stress out, because I didn't care.

Boys are easy. Boys are Step 1, Step 2, Step 3 = gratification. I've never had a problem with holding their interest, sexually.

The problem was, could they hold mine?

Now that I think about it... Have I ever orgasmed with a guy?

....

Huh. I must have... Surely.... At some point, right?

Hmm. Anyways.

Girls are complicated. Girls are all different. Each girl has different zones, different speeds, different pressures, different rhythms - and it can seem very overwhelming!

And I like that. Girls are puzzle begging to be solved.

I know I'm not going to be perfect.

But I know I'm the perfect person to figure out my special somebody.

I will say

Gaaaaaaaaay People have an advantage over Straaaaaaaaaaight People.

I know what girls like, from the inside out.

Because I am a girl.

Dudes know what dudes like.

Because they're dudes.

Sure, it's still a little nerve-wracking the first time around with somebody

but I think that's just how sex works.

Regardless

To put an end to this question

(because I've had a looooooong and hoooooooooorrible day at work)

Even though I no longer need it (Thank you, ZEE!),

I find myself in this place of sexual comfort.

1) With Guys - I just don't care. Do it with my eyes closed. Whatever.

2) With Girls - I know what they like, because what I like is a good starting point. The rest is a fun adventure.

I hope I have adequately answered your question. :)