Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Day 268

Thank you for checking out my first day of the Lesbian of Love! But we've got a few more days left before Valentine's Day!

So if you have any questions you've always wanted to ask a lesbian (but felt it was too awkward), please send them to...

{{ kindle.rouse@gmail.com }}

All questions will be kept anonymous.

To answer the question left by The Lady in my last post:

No, I never did any Roadhouse Line Dance, but my wifey and milspouse blogger, Heather, did teach me how to give an awesome Roadhouse Yeeeeehaw for Birthday announcements!


And now it's time fooooooooooor............

The Lesbian of Looooooove!!

These next questions (and tomorrow's as well....) were submitted by an anonymous comedic best friend.

1.) Is it true that, when two lesbians have sex by scissoring, their mutual climax smells like Strawberry Shortcake and causes a bunny with a bandana to ride through the room on a Welsh corgi while "Is This Love?" by Whitesnake plays?

This could be true...

But we'll never really know...

Because Lesbians don't scissor.

"WHAT?!?!?" you ask. "NO SCISSORS?!?!?!"

"Say it's not so!"

It's true, folks. The concept of "scissoring" is one created by males to try to visualize how in the world lesbians could possibly have sex.

Every lesbian (having heard of scissoring) will likely try it once.

And, really, just once.

Because once is enough to tell you that it doesn't really work.

And even worse than that - it looks and feels awkward.

And doesn't sex have enough potential to be awkward on its own without adding scissoring to it?

The answer is yes.

2.) Being lesbians, I'm sure you often use toys for your sexual exploits. Is there some sense of emasculation or satisfaction you get from using a phallic device or strap on contraption? Does this, in a sense, give you the sensation that you are male for a moment?

Not gonna lie. Toys are fun. They aren't necessary, but they definitely can give a lesbian couple options.

They can give straight couples options, so ladies! Go check them out! :D

But there is something I'd like to address here. Often the question is posed - if you don't like guys, then why would you want to use phallic toys?

My answer to this is, just because we don't like dudes, it doesn't mean that our plumbing works any different.

This doesn't mean that all lesbians enjoy penetration, per se, but, if there is to be penetration, we prefer it to be done by a person with curves, boobs, sweet-smelling hair, and girly-bits.

Not a smelly boy.

But, back to the question, I do not think it gives me any sense of "maleness."

Not to lesbians, at least.

Maybe to ladies who are wanting to trans-gender.

But I, at least, have no desire to be a guy.



Potential TMI
so stop reading here



In fact, I can just barely look at dildos in real life. I want them felt and used, but not seen or heard. If I see one, I start blushing and giggling and feeling... well, awkward!

And no way in HECK will I ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever use a "life-like" dildo.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww.

I like my dildos to be purple or pink or blue, and I like shiny and sparkly!

If they can look like they just appeared from outer space, that would be wonderful.

And who can feel "masculine" when they have a pink, shiny/sparkly stick bobbing between their legs?

Speaking of...

If I'm wearing a dildo, I don't know whether to laugh or cringe.

Or stand there awkwardly, thinking, "Um... what do I do with this again?"


I hope this has adequately answered your questions. :)

6 comments:

  1. Thanks for making me anonymous in your post and protecting my identity!










    Wait................

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bahhahaha. You are so funny!

    I wish I had some questions for Miss LEZZZZZBIAN. But... I don't been there, done that, figured out I wasn't... And now I'm married. LOL. So... Hm.

    OH. Good question...

    ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH YOUR GAYNESS AND SPREAD IT LIKE THE PLAGUE?! Like, ZOMG.

    Ha. HAHA. Okay, I thought that was funny, you, maybe not so much?? Might be good. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I wish I had some questions!! The TMI part completely made me giggle.... who am I kidding, it all made me giggle and blush like an idiotic school girl. Haha.
    I like that you're answering these questions. I feel like it's explaining things to me that I never would have thought to ask, let alone had the balls (like what i did there?!haha) to ask.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Those "realistic" dildos are creepy...especially when they are the size of a jersey shore guidos arm.

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL, so funny! New follower from The Hussy...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Have you seen the huge veiny dildos?!? Horrifying. They make me think of John Bobbit...

    ReplyDelete

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