Day 217

I've just enough beers to set my emotions on that tender precipice where I feel everything with perfect clarity and where I feel everything too much.

It's a nice place to be until I tip over into "feeling too much."

At work, my boss keeps asking me, "Well, are you excited??"

See, they've absolutely guaranteed my week off for Zee's R&R. And that's awesome.

But they don't give anything for free. They make you pay in guilt trips, their own martyrdom, or in your gratitude.

And apparently, I'm not acting excited/grateful enough to suit the magnitude of their gift to me.

So every day, she asks me, "Ooh, how excited are you??"

And I smile and say, "Very."

Then I go back to work.

I'd like to know how y'all react.

Heather said she reacts in much the same way as me.

I described my feelings this past week as such:

"yes, I'm excited. But I'm also pouting because I want her here NOW. They {my bosses} feel they deserve me jumping up and down screaming , "YAY, ZEE!"

I'm sorry. I just want to go home.

I want to lie in bed, read a book, and watch the little countdown on my phone.

I want to clean and fix my car.

I want to call the cabins to confirm our registration.

I want to buy shoes to go with my dress.

I want to pack my clothes next to hers.
THAT'S my excitement."

I'm ready for her to be home, if even for a little while. I'm desperate for the her warmth and her smiles. I'm not meant to be without her.

So I am excited. But my excitement is that focused calm, where you can only see the end in sight, and you don't want to blink for fear of it disappearing.

Btw, if I suddenly disappear for, like, seven days - I haven't died. I'm simply kissing and loving my girl, wishing I had more than a week to soak her up.

But seriously - Am I weird for not doing cartwheels? I think the day of I'll be nothing but jumping jitters, but right now I just have to get through these last days. Heather says that's quite normal, but I want to know what it's like for y'all as well.