Day 174

Okay, completely fell off the wagon. Between Blogger shutting down for a millennium and me adjusting to my new schedule, I've missed a day in posting.

Drat.

I've also screwed up my M'Aidez Challenge by getting a job. But I've promised my friend Spargo 1500 more words by our next Skype conversation, so I'm sure I'll find the time around working, studying for work, and putting together Zee's anniversary package.

Speaking of which, I found a box of fake rose petals at Walmart...

...for $10 per teensy, tiny box.

Are you kidding me??

In other news, I'm feeling kinda down, despite the high of learning the works of this new, fun job.

There are two things in particular that I hate about deployment.

ONE... I hate at how I become accustomed to her absence. Even now, only a few weeks after she's gone back (it seems like it was a century ago), our time together during R&R feels like a dream. It shouldn't feel normal to be without her. But at least the missing doesn't really ever go away...

TWO... Speaking of missing, I also hate how deployment keeps my emotional needs from getting satisfied. I also also hate how I feel guilty for making any emotional demands (even though I am in every way entitled) because I realize how stressful her job is. I recognize that of all the factors in her life making demands of her right now, my needs are less immediate. Therefore, they can potentially fall to the wayside. Is that messed up? Yes. Is it either of our faults? No. But even if she does have the time and energy to fully interact with me, it's never truly satisfying. Mind - I wouldn't trade those phone calls or chat logs for anything, but I'd be lying if I said at the end of the day, "Well, I feel like I've spent enough time with Zee today. I hope she doesn't call again, because I'd really rather be doing [insert activity]."

Stupid Army.

Day 176

I need to re-evaluate my blog posting schedule. Usually I write at the end of my day, to mark that another day is done. However, my new job has greatly changed my time-table. I got off work at the same time as my trainer, and she was the first cut. I still didn't get home until 10:30, which doesn't leave a whole lot of wiggle room for blog writing.

Oh, well. Day-time posting it is.

I'm really going to enjoy this night schedule. It's PERFECT while Zee is gone, and I can make friends with people at work, who keep the same hours as me.

Awesome.

I want to say a HUGE thank you for all the suggestions you left on my last post. I'm putting her package together tomorrow and Saturday (our anniversary has kinda snuck up on me), and now I think I can do our ONE YEAR justice.

Day 177

I am sooo glad I bought insoles.

I usually don't invest in stuff like this.

And at $5.50 spent, I still haven't.

However, my salon job had me sitting all day.

My new serving job will have me running all day.

How can I reasonably expect my feet to handle such a transition?

Hence... Insoles.

All said and done, I had a great first day.

I look forward to great bosses, great coworkers, great guests, and great money.

**thumbs up**

I have my second shift tomorrow evening, and until then I'll be studying my new menus.

All four of them.

And in a car update:

$650 later, my baby girl is back in shape and doing well.

Zee calls her my "monster."

But I wasn't able to find a ride to the garage, so I had to walk the mile there.

It took me about 45 minutes. In the heat. Around traffic. In a world with no sidewalks.

How did people survive in the days before cars were common?

In other news, I need something creative to send Zee for our one-year anniversary package. We agreed nothing extravagant, but I still want to send something special.

All I've come up with is face-wash.

Any ideas, ladies and gents??

Day 178

Let me just tell you about my day...

I'll try and keep it from being too long-winded...

First, I nearly overslept. Not in the "I'm going to be late" kind of way, but in the "I haven't given myself as much time as I planned because I was so sleepy and if I lolly-gag I could be late" way.

Second, I was hired! I will be working at this trendy little place in downtown Nashville, and I look forward to working hard and making le monai.

Here's where the real story starts...

I decided to head to a local shopping center to buy new shoes for my job and some celebration beer.

I never got there.

Half-way home, I see smoke coming from my vents.

Uh-oh.

To say my car was "overheating" would be to put it too calmly.

My car was OHMYLANTAHAWT!

I pull over, pop the hood, and I see that coolant has exploded all over my engine. I send pictures to a friend who says it looks like my radiator has split.

Great... Doesn't the Universe know I just got hired and don't want to miss my first day of work?

My friend and I decide I should walk to the nearest gas station (I was literally 500 feet from the exit) to get some water to test his radiator theory. I mean, there was every chance I could drive the car somewhere, right?

I also wanted to go to a gas station because I had not eaten or drank a single molecule all day. Remember how I overslept? Yeah, I don't eat when I have other shit to do.

So I'm starving and trudging my way along the interstate to find food and a whole lot of water.

I would like to remark at this juncture that several people (mostly men...) stopped to offer me a ride. I declined all of them - because you never know who the creepers are - but I was profoundly touched by the goodness of mankind.

The goodness of the Universe has yet to be proven.

I walked half a mile (or a mile? I can't really gauge distance) and still couldn't find a gas station. And to make everything a whole lot better, my phone battery was dying.

A phone call from Zee finally convinced me to turn around and call for a tow truck.

Calling for a tow truck was so much fun.

....

I've never called my roadside assistance before, but I don't think the jerk who handled my phone call is the norm.

I won't go into details, but, when you're making a phone call with cars zooming by, it can be difficult to hear. But that is no reason to get frustrated with me if I'm obviously having a bad day.

At one point, I was trying to tell him the exit my car was by, and he kept telling me the only road of that name was south of Nashville. Finally, I had to say, "Well I don't have a map. But I'm at this exit and this is what it's called."

Back at my car, I wait for the tow truck.

I wait for an hour.

While I'm waiting, my car is recognized by a gentleman who lives at my apartments. He stopped to offer help, but, again I declined, this time because there was literally nothing to do but wait.

And wait, I did. Thirsty, hot, and starving.

Literally drenched with sweat, watching the clouds, praying that it would rain.

Finally, my battery is beeping at me, and I figure I should call the tow people before my phone is post mortem.

Turns out dickweed from customer service hell got my location and phone number wrong. They had been circling my location for the past 30 minutes, unable to get in touch with me, like deaf and blind vultures.

Sigh...

From here the story got better, with A/C, water, and auto-repairness.

I will be able to take my mom's car to work tomorrow - so yay.

But it was my radiator that, like, exploded, so I'll have a bill of $598 + tax to pay tomorrow.

Wheeeeee....

Thank you, Universe, for this headache of a day. Ignore my sarcasm and please give me a better day tomorrow. Yours truly, Kindle the Grand

Day 179

Kindle, most fabulous: So, do you like it over there?

Zee, the glorious: Well, yeah and no.

Kindle, Oh, Beautiful One: Mmm. I guess the "no" is becuse of the constant danger, right?

Zee, the courageous: Huh? Oh. No, I don't mind that.

Kindle, the not surprised: ....

That is an excerpt from a conversation I had with Zee (this morning? it's all a blur...), as I was reminded of a blog I read by the Army Dad. It's always a little odd to me how content she is being deployed. She doesn't like being without me any more than I like being without her, but that's not what I'm talking about here.

I like to imagine Afghanistan as an absolute hell-hole, and it probably would be to me. I don't shower at least every other day? I have to eat cafeteria food? The internet costs more than my entire net worth? I have to sleep in a cot and wear the same clothes every day? Oh, and let's not forget the perpetual threat of danger...

Yeah. Let's not sign me up for that.

But she's happy with that simple way of life. (Although it doesn't seem simple to me.)

Well, maybe she's happy. She at least seems content. She has friends there, a job she believes in and does very well in, and she doesn't have to worry about what to wear every day.

All she's missing is me.

Hmm.

Day 180

Every now and then, I come across an object in my apartment that so strongly reminds me that Zee isn't some figment of my imagination. That alternate reality, so dream-like at times, really does exist and will be mine again soon.

When these moments happen, I want to take that object, curl around it, and cry with a mixture of gratitude and longing.

Tonight the object was a box of sugar. Tomorrow, who knows...

Day 181

I've been putting off talking about R&R because I realized the other day that all the pictures are of me and Zee. I would love love LOVE to share the photos of the both of us, unfortunately DADT is still in place....

So here are the few I could scrounge together.

(more will be posted once I get them off my phone)

In no particular order:

Me on my horse, Alabama. Zee is directly behind me on Kentucky.

I fussed at first because they told us not to have our cameras out!

But the horses were so mild. Riding was a breeze.

Red Bull and Agwa.

A dangerous and beautiful combination

that resulted in Zee buying a huge-ass knife...

We did some Hillbilly Golfing, which is putt-putt situated on mountainous incline.

And it's, you know, hillbilly-ish.

At the beginning of the Gatlinburg strip,

enjoying all the beautiful blossoms!

More tomorrow! Have a wonderful night! And a Happy Mother's Day!